Hi, I'm You
by mamuzelkittycat
Summary: Falling through a portal into another dimension hurts. Fangirls don't seem to realize it, but it's actually really, really painful. But I've got to put that off for now in favor of running from the deadly zombies chasing after me. Oh, did I forget to mention the zombie apocolypse? Canon-meets-AU!Genderbends. Sort of AU. No pairings so far.


Have you ever actually stopped to think about what it would be like to fall through a portal?

I mean, really, you see all these stories about One Piece OCs falling into the world of One Piece and BAM, you get romance, action, and more romance.

But seriously, look at the very first part of that sentence: One Piece OCs falling into the world of One Piece.

I mean really. _OW._

It's gotta hurt a fucking shit-ton, and fangirls don't seem to realize it.

Hello, my name is Trafalgar Law, and I fell out of the world of One Piece.

* * *

"Fuck! Captain, there're too many of them!"

"Captain, watch your back, there's a strider!"

"Get a move on, Trafalgar, we can't waste fucking time loping around like fucking pansies!"

"Goddammit, shutup, I know!"

Zombies. Ever heard of 'em?

_Nasty_ fuckers, and all they want is your flesh. Well, they can't _have mine_. I need it to lead my crew to safety. Can't have the Marines on our asses in the middle of a swarming. They were already too close to Sabaody, even with the execution of Portgas D. Anne coming up.

Oh, I'm sorry, in the midst of my zombie-fighting, I forgot to introduce myself. I'm-

"Fucking Christ, Justice, move it!" Eustass barked at me.

"Shut it, Kendra. I have to concentrate or my Room won't encompass the whole crowd. It's difficult to use it in a swarm while running like this!" I panted and set back to work once again.

"Go go go go go, Crane! There's a Strider on Captain's tail!" Shaya pointed to the Strider - a doubly fast, doubly long zombie with four rows of razor-sharp teeth like a shark's - which Crane easily judo-chopped away from me as it lunged for my neck.

Bella, my walking, talking martial arts panda for a first mate cried helplessly as she was pounced on by a Cat. By Cat, I don't mean the happy little furballs that used to curl up in people's lap and purr. No, that was before the scientific experimentation by Dr. Hogback and Dr. Vegapunk got out of hand. I'm talking about zombies no bigger than your torso that have grown out their bones through the ends of their fingers and toes, horns out of their skulls, and have a distinctic screech before pouncing on their victim's head.

She managed to sling it off, with the help of Kendra's first-mate, Kaylah, and then kicked a Normal in the face, effectively turning herself around, and running full speed ahead towards the ships.

That was when I stopped, readied my Nodachi, and slung it wildly, cutting up the zombies into bits and pieces. Their scattered body parts floated through the air like nothing, but dropped when I lost my concentration, due the the great blast of light from my right, further inland of the island.

Then a Strider lunged for my neck.

* * *

Basille Hawkins was supposed to be a tough woman. I guess I just didn't want her to lose her pride is all. I punched a Normal through the head, then ran back to her. Scratcher Alla is _not_ a woman to be underestimated.

Ofcourse, I guess I overestimated myself, because after I managed to beat-box an awesome melody of pain into the Admiral's head and run off, I _also_ got blasted.

Fuck my life.

* * *

I have to admit, I think I was starting to hate the Strawhat gang.

Sure, that moss-head I saved from the Tenryuubito was kinda hot, but DAMN. They're all IDIOTS.

I only managed to save myself from getting noticed as those Marine chicks passed by because I changed my age and stayed in an alley. Fucking female dominated society...

I was currently back on my ship, sailing around the Archipelago, looking for a safe place to land. I thought that Sabaody was supposed to be a zombie-free area? I was wrong, very wrong. I saw a semi-clear patch of land and docked, kicking off any smarter-than-Normal zombies, and scanned the area.

And ofcourse my stomach decided to growl.

"You wanna find a place to eat, Captain?"

"...Yeah."

"BOOM! HEADSHOT! Oh, what about that place over there?" My sniper pointed to a rip-off bar that literally had a sign above it saying "Shady's Rip-off Bar".

"Yeah, it's worth a shot." I strode over, my men following suit. I still didn't like the look of it, especially with some guy named _Shady_ owning the place, but, hey, I was starving.

And they probably had food.

Never know when you'll get to eat again.

* * *

I couldn't save a single one of them...Not one...All of my nakama...

Gone.

And then so was I.

* * *

"Shit! The news says there was a sudden and unexpected outbreak on Sabaody, but you knew that already, didn't you, Ma'am?"

"Yup. I already saw it coming. But ya' know, our Supernova fleet didn't listen, did they? They were so desperate to get to the 'safe place', the New World, that they didn't heed me, did they? Fucking children."

"Um, you're younger than all of them, aren't you, Jess?"

"...Shutup Shell."

"But it's true."

"Gypsy, go play."

With that, a scutter of feet fled from the candle-lit room, and just us remained.

"...Will they be ok?"

"I don't know, I didn't see that far."

"...Alright."With that, Shell stepped from the room, leaving me behind. I stared down at the map, then glanced over at my moonstone necklace, hung it on its pendulum and let it swing to the place it required me to be. As always, it swung to my home-island.

Raftel.

* * *

**Forgive me, for I am unworthy of your beautiful eyes...**

**I know I have to work on TPOW...**

***sighs***


End file.
